No Regrets

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The truth is, I’ve done a lot of things I’m not very proud of in my life. But who hasn’t? No one is perfect. No one has all the answers, and no one is right all of the time. A few weeks ago I was thinking about some things that I’ve done in my past and how I overcame many obstacles that were placed in my path.  I came up with this:

instatruthWhen talking to a friend about regrets, I told him I don’t really have any regrets from things I’ve done or said in my past. This is mainly because had I not done or said some of those things, I may not be the person I am today. The things I do today help to shape and mold the person I will be tomorrow. I read a blog post recently that was featured on freshly pressed that coincided with my thoughts on regrets. How can we live with regrets and “should’a, would’a, could’as” and be content with the lives we have now? We can’t! I can’t regret the fact that I got involved with my kids’ father back in high school… To do that would mean I would also regret having my kids, which I certainly do not. Each experience in my life has taught me something. Whether it was a small, simple lesson, or a big, difficult lesson, I learned from the decisions I made. I’ve written about The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews before, and I go back to what I read and learned from that book because there was so much valuable information contained within its pages. In the very first decision of the seven decisions outlined in the book that determine personal success, it is written that “I am where I am today — mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially — because of decisions I have made.” None of us can change our past. Some of us probably wish we could. I don’t. I truly believe that I am a stronger, wiser, and better person today than I was 10 years ago. I wouldn’t have that strength and wisdom had I not experienced the things I did.

Overall, I feel in order to do better, we must want better. I may not be where I want to be in life just yet, but I’m getting there. I know what I must do in order to be successful in life and I know it’s gonna take a little more time and  a lot more effort on my part. The willingness is there, I just have to keep pushing through.

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The Truth in Music

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Toni Braxton’s Song Let It Flow sums up my situation quite nicely… The truth in her music is so real…

First thing Monday morning
It was a Monday afternoon when I decided I needed to end things.
I’m gonna pick my tears away
I was done crying about it (or so I thought). I wanted it to be over for good.
Got no cause to look back
I had no reason to look back because as the next line says…
I’m lookin’ for me a better day
I wanted better for myself. I deserved better.
You see the thing ’bout love
No doubt in my mind that I loved him.
Is that it’s not enough
But love really was not enough at that point in our relationship.
If the only thing it brings you is pain
And because I couldn’t have more, that love did bring me great pain.
There comes a time when we could all make a change, darlin’.
It was way past time for me to have made this change. So I did what I had to do.

Don’t nobody want no broken heart
We always felt like we weren’t hurting anybody… But we were only lying to ourselves.
And don’t nobody want no two time losers
I want someone who’s going to be faithful and true at all times, no matter what.
Ain’t nobody gonna love you like you are
I couldn’t possibly expect someone new to love me with the “baggage” I was carrying around.
If you take whatever he brings your way
I did just that. Whatever he had to give, I took it…willingly, with no objections.
You see the thing of it
There’s always that something…
Is we deserve respect
And I do deserve to be respected.
But we can’t demand respect without change
But really, I couldn’t demand respect with the current situation…I had to make some changes.
There comes a time when we must go our own way.
I knew my time had come. I had to break away and go my own way and do my own thing.

Sometimes love it can work out right
This wasn’t one of those times.
Sometimes you’ll never know
I didn’t know for a long time, but then again, I knew all along it wasn’t right.
But if it brings only pain in your life
Pain wasn’t the only thing it brought, but it was there.
Don’t be afraid to let it go.
I was afraid for so long. But not anymore…I let go of the lie that was us and decided that for me, I wanted to start living some truth. I deserve that. So does he…

 

Christmas Time

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Christmas is one of my most favorite times of the year. Since I’ve gotten into a bit of photography, I’ve had fun experimenting with different greeting cards for Christmas. One you can see here I did for my daughter’s teacher. I did a different one for the other teacher she has since she has two. I have a photography blog that I don’t update too often, but after the first part of the year I plan to devote more time to updating the blog with the photos I take. Here are a few from some recent ‘photo shoots’ I’ve done:

Me and the three loves of my life.

My big man! (Isaiah)

My big little lady! (Rhiyana aka Liah)

My baby girl! (Amira)

My best friend, Tiffany and her boys.

Jay'Den & Jar'Dae

Sweet Ja'Brael! (My Godson)

Big brother & little brother!

Middle brother Jay'Den.

I wonder what's in the box??!

It's JA'BRAEL!!

"Get me out of here", he says! 🙂

What joyous gifts they are!

I love it when… Wednesday

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I decided to put a twist on my Wednesday post and change it to “I love it when… Wednesday”! In the words of Forrest Gump, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” Especially when reading this blog! 😉

I love it when…

~ I have thoughts that just make me smile. Thoughts of people, friends, experiences… I prefer smiling over frowning or crying any day of the week.

~ I’m right. And I don’t even have to say “I told you so”. Just knowing I was right about something when I was deemed ‘wrong’ gives me all the satisfaction I need.

~ I have great moments with my kids. I don’t enjoy the bad times, but I can appreciate them because otherwise I would not cherish the great moments the way I do without the bad times.

~ People see the good in my kids. They’re not perfect, none of us are, but they are really good kids.

~ I can reminisce over great music. That’s why I do the Throwback Thursday. I love music! 

~ I have great conversations with my grandma. She’s my rock! ❤ I appreciate all of our time together. ❤

~ The rain stops and you smell that “after the rain” scent. Its smells so fresh and new.

~ My kids and I laugh together. And when we can laugh at each other.

~ I think about the life I have and how blessed I am to be where I am, and when I think of the awesome people I have in my life.

~ Things work out the way I plan. So often I don’t make plans because of the possibility of having to cancel or change them. But when the ‘mission’ is complete, I’m grateful.

~ Someone confirms my thoughts of them. Whether good or bad, confirmation is good in any sense.

Happy Hump Day bloggers & blog readers!!!

Poetry Archive

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I have a book of poetry that I wrote and worked on for a time period of about 5 years. It consists of a little under one hundred poems. (90 to be exact) I thought I’d pull out a couple and post them here… Just brings back some memories and I hope whoever takes the time to read this enjoys them.

Tears

A lonely heart
And dreary eyes
Speak…
But what they say to me
Is a mystery.
I think I know,
But then again, I don’t.
Who’s to say?
Not I.
Listen is what I’ll do.
To the tears that fall from your eyes.
A silent cry full of pain.
Lost in desire…
Tears.

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When I think of you
It puts my heart at ease
To know that I can love
Whichever way I please.

When my thoughts include you,
My heart is filled with desire.
Built up like the roaring flames
Of a warm and cozy fire.

When my heart longs for you,
And then I hear your name
I will never have to worry
About sadness, heartache or pain.

When I look into your eyes
I know that love is true.
And now that I’ve found my love,
I know exactly what to do.

When I am with you
And you hold me in your arms
I have not a care in the world
For you will shield me from all harm.

When love is an important factor,
And trust is my second choice,
I know that I can have both
At the sound of your sweet voice.

When you call me on the phone
Just to say hi, or to converse,
We say what’s on our minds,
With no need to rehearse.

When nothing else matters
Except the one you cherish
The love shared between us
Will never have to perish.

Pain

My heart was searching
For someone to love.
My arms were searching
For someone to hold.
My mind was searching
For someone to teach me.
When I found no one,
My soul found pain.