2014 in review… My posting activities were few and far between, but I plan to change that in the coming year.

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 700 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 12 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Family

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When my frustration leads me to write, some things may come out that I wouldn’t normally say in a non-frustrated moment. But in the last couple of days, I have had some things said indirectly and directly to and about me as well as other family members that have really put me on edge. There have been some hurt feelings, I guess, about happenings and situations that I had no prior knowledge of ever even existing. When you live in different states from immediate family, you don’t always get to share in life happenings. Life, time, and distance don’t always allow for you to be a part of things you would otherwise be a part of had that distance not been there.

With that being said, every person in this world has just one life to live. What you do with your life is yours and yours alone to decide; after a certain point. When we get to a place in life when we can talk to people any kind of way with no sense of morals or respect for either yourself or other people, that’s a huge problem; especially when that person is your own mother. We all have shortcomings. None of us are perfect. But no one has the right to speak to their own mother in a degrading or disrespectful manner. I don’t care if a mother never gave her child two nickles to rub together, because if she never gave him anything at all, she gave him LIFE! He should thank her every day for giving him that life, because it could have easily gone the other way. People like to say when they’re in a bad situation, “I didn’t ask to be here.” Well guess what, none of us had a choice in whether or not we were going to be born. GOD put us all here for a reason. Every living, breathing human being has a purpose. Some don’t know what their purpose is yet. Some people may know, but are not sure about how to embrace it and be that person God wants them to be.

One of those family members said that “the definition of family in the literal term simply means any group closely related by blood. But it also means a group of individuals who closely share a common attitude, interests, or goals.” The only part of that definition that describes his (and several other family members) relationship to me is the part of being closely related by blood. We most certainly don’t share a common attitude, because I would never have the audacity to talk to my mother, grandmother, or any other adult family member the way he speaks to his mother. He says I misinterpret his hurt for a false sense of entitlement. But where, oh where, does this so called “hurt” stem from? Because you didn’t get a birthday card in the mail every year for the last 20 years of your life? Because you didn’t get a Christmas present in the mail every once in a while? As my eldest family member said to me, when you’re used to getting top of the line EVERYTHING, the meager card would have been much too insignificant for you and your high class and “rich” taste. Honey you’re living a millionaire’s dream on a “hundredaire’s” budget! Who wants to take the time out to acknowledge someone’s birthday with a card (without any money in it) who isn’t going to appreciate it? That would just be something else for them to talk about; “Why did they send this, there’s no money or anything?” But I’m not mistaken in my thought of them having a false sense of entitlement, because entitlement, in its literal form, means “the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.” Nobody owes you anything! I don’t owe you a “happy birthday,” or a “congratulations on your graduation,” or a “Merry Christmas.” Who are you?

One of the ten commandments in the Bible says to honor your father and your mother so that you may live long… I foresee that EVERYTHING you touch will fail until you do right by your mother and give her the respect she is most certainly entitled to from you, the children she gave birth to. I walk my talk every single day. I don’t “fake the funk” for anybody. I am who I am and where I am today in life physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually because of the decisions I have made in my life. I don’t make excuses for my flaws or downfalls. I don’t point the finger at anyone else to say they should have done this, that or the other for me. It took me a long time to come to realize that, but I hope and pray it doesn’t take my other family members as long to wise up and to realize that life is too short to live with hurts from the past. If you feel hurt, you need to talk sensibly with those who you feel have hurt you and explain why you feel the way you do. Because if I mistakenly step on your foot but do not realize it, how can I apologize or make it right if you don’t tell me, “hey, you stepped on my foot, and you hurt me”? So yes, I have been a bit frustrated the last few days, and I don’t feel as if there has been proper communication that could possibly resolve this issue; whatever it may be.

They say blood is thicker than water, but sometimes you have to watch out for your so called family more than you do a stranger on the street. People also say sticks stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you. That’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one. Sometimes words can hurt and cut deeper than any two-edged sword. It’s crazy how life works. How obstacles are thrown in your path right when you’re doing good; doing what’s right and noble. Misery  sure loves company and oftentimes, people will try their best to bring others down just to bring themselves up; no matter what lengths they have to go to to do so. It’s a crying shame. God don’t like ugly; and he’s not too fond of pretty either. He favors what’s right. And when you’re wrong, you’re wrong. You’ll never get anywhere in life trying to make other people’s lives miserable… never! I can promise you that.

“Live for today, not tomorrow or yesterday.” ~jRenae~

I Am The Mother of THAT Child

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I recently read an article that a teacher who works at my kids’ school shared on Facebook. Her caption to the article link was something like, “We care about each one.” While lengthy, it is a definite must that you read it completely before continuing with this post so that you will fully understand my plight.

http://missnightmutters.com/2014/11/dear-parent-about-that-kid.html

Now… My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 6. She also has some severe emotional issues and suffers from anxiety. I have sought every method of help for her that I know is available to me. She has been put on medication, she has had counseling, she has been taught some coping techniques by her therapist, and she has had one, maybe two teachers who have been able to work with her in a caring, compassionate, yet firm way, so that she understood that they were on her side. My initial thought after reading this article was to post a comment expressing how I felt about the lack of patience and guidance and understanding many of the teachers and administrators seem to have when it comes to my child. But as I began typing my thoughts I felt like it was the wrong forum for all that I had to say. I cut the text and pasted it into my text message box until I decided what I was going to do with it.  These were pretty much my thoughts at that time:

I am a parent of THAT child and I only wish some of those teachers cared as much… “I will, no matter what happens, continue to look for, and to find, the good, amazing, special, and wonderful things about your child…” [sucks teeth and rolls eyes] Talk is cheap! She’s far from perfect, I’ll be the first to attest to that; but there are a lot of good things that could be said for, to, and about her, but I wonder why 99% of the time we only ever hear the bad… Many of them care with conditions and limitations. They really don’t want to be bothered with THAT child because it’s too much of an inconvenience. It’s not conducive to their ideal working environment or teacher/student relationship. Never mind the “crisis plan,” just get her out of MY classroom… as if she’s not worthy of being taught, regardless of her emotional instability. Never mind the other kids taunting or picking on her behind the teacher’s back, she has caused another uproar in the class, who cares what her reasons are, just write her up and get her out of here! Never mind the verbal praise on a day she doesn’t have an outburst, let’s just harp on everything wrong and be sure to tell her mom about all the negative situations and sum it up with, “But she’s a very smart girl.” What a load of bull!! I’m so over the fake and phoney and well overdue for some genuine care and concern for my child…

I feel as though I am the only person advocating for her. I’m not the type of parent who upholds her child when she’s wrong. I don’t make excuses for her behavior. I discipline her, both physical and non-physical. I talk with her, try to reason with her,  and I make sure I explain to her the consequences of her actions. She fully understands right from wrong, good from bad, the acceptable as well the unacceptable, and appropriate from inappropriate. She also has sense enough to know when someone is mistreating her, being unfair, or doing something to her just because, or just to agitate her. She’s not always in control of her emotional state of mind. She cries, screams, throws fits, sometimes throws things, becomes belligerent and oftentimes defiant. All of these things I am aware of. Each school year the new teachers (if not already familiar with her behaviors) are made aware of all of her “issues.” They’ve labeled her as a misfit and a disruption to the learning environment. The other kids all know what to do to set her off and to then seem like innocent bystanders as if they did nothing wrong. But in the teacher’s eyes, she is just causing a disruption. When she is then scolded and hears the snickers of the other children, she reaches her boiling point. But it really seems to me that none of that matters to the teachers. I know she will sit in class and refuse to do work sometimes. But I also know that sometimes she needs help and doesn’t understand; and maybe she needs a little more help – one-on-one… But how can a child ask for help from a teacher she feels doesn’t care if she understands it or not? And I know that’s how she feels a lot of the time.

My child is not without blame in these situations and occurrences. But she again, is just a child and she needs nurturing, time, care, attention, and to know that the people who are supposed to care about her and her learning ability and her well-being, actually do care.

What Do I Want For My Children?

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I want my children to be successful

And to always know that I love them dearly.

I want them to have dignity and purpose,

For them to hold their heads high and speak clearly.

 

To never mumble when speaking to someone

But look a person in the eye so that they know

You are serious and should be taken seriously

And accept criticism so there is room to grow.

 

To never be too selfish or even too kind

People sometimes mistake that for weakness

But don’t be too overbearing either

Remain humble and display tender meekness.

 

I want them to show respect to everyone

Whether another child or someone who’s old

Never be rude or mean without reason

To have a warm heart, not one that’s cold.

 

To give willingly whenever they are able to

To always lend a helping hand to someone in need

Remembering that it’s what Jesus would want them to do

To not be followers but to take a responsible lead.

 

I want for my children the world and so much more

For them to set goals and work hard to achieve them

To never boast, but to be modest and less proud

But to sometimes take chances and go out on a limb.

 

There will be times when they will be let down or disappointed

But I want them to understand that’s all a part of life

There will be happiness, joy, triumphs and victories

But also sorrow, heartache, pain, misery and strife.

 

Sometimes the good will outweigh the bad, sometimes not

At times they will feel like they are all alone with no one

But I pray they believe their mama will always be there

I’ll be just a phone call away, and to me they can always run.

 

So what all do I really want for my children?

Life, health, strength, creativity, success, power

But mostly I want them to know the Lord Jesus Christ

And that they can call on Him no matter the hour.

 

I want them to know that He has the power to do all things

And that He will come back one day, or maybe one night

I can’t tell them when that will be or where I will be

Only that the time is now for us all to get our lives right.

 

And not to call on Him only when they are in trouble

But to thank Him daily for the many blessings He gives

To tell others about Him and share his Holy Word

And make sure they know that yes, He still lives.

 

My children are my everything, my sun and my stars

They bring out the sunshine on my most cloudy day

I hope they know that even when I’m mad, I still love them

No matter the distance between us, in my heart they will always stay.

 

No Regrets

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The truth is, I’ve done a lot of things I’m not very proud of in my life. But who hasn’t? No one is perfect. No one has all the answers, and no one is right all of the time. A few weeks ago I was thinking about some things that I’ve done in my past and how I overcame many obstacles that were placed in my path.  I came up with this:

instatruthWhen talking to a friend about regrets, I told him I don’t really have any regrets from things I’ve done or said in my past. This is mainly because had I not done or said some of those things, I may not be the person I am today. The things I do today help to shape and mold the person I will be tomorrow. I read a blog post recently that was featured on freshly pressed that coincided with my thoughts on regrets. How can we live with regrets and “should’a, would’a, could’as” and be content with the lives we have now? We can’t! I can’t regret the fact that I got involved with my kids’ father back in high school… To do that would mean I would also regret having my kids, which I certainly do not. Each experience in my life has taught me something. Whether it was a small, simple lesson, or a big, difficult lesson, I learned from the decisions I made. I’ve written about The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews before, and I go back to what I read and learned from that book because there was so much valuable information contained within its pages. In the very first decision of the seven decisions outlined in the book that determine personal success, it is written that “I am where I am today — mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially — because of decisions I have made.” None of us can change our past. Some of us probably wish we could. I don’t. I truly believe that I am a stronger, wiser, and better person today than I was 10 years ago. I wouldn’t have that strength and wisdom had I not experienced the things I did.

Overall, I feel in order to do better, we must want better. I may not be where I want to be in life just yet, but I’m getting there. I know what I must do in order to be successful in life and I know it’s gonna take a little more time and  a lot more effort on my part. The willingness is there, I just have to keep pushing through.

an ode to new york city

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I sure do miss New York sometimes. I just can’t see myself living there raising my kids… But there are so many opportunities, places to see, things to do. This is a great post. Reminds me of the life I once lived in New York. I expect to visit again soon and see all my family & friends who I miss so much.

Nowhere To Go But Everywhere

I find myself wandering down the Chelsea Highline as the sun falls over the Hudson, turning the city a peculiar shade of orange.

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Maybe it isn’t the sunset that’s particularly eerie tonight, though. Maybe, just maybe, it is the realization that washes over me as I watch my city fade into darkness…

In a few weeks, this place will no longer be my home. 

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My two best friends and I look at each other knowingly.

Nostalgia. Heartsickness. Excitement and worry about the future. The mixture of emotions fills our guts as the sun finally dips below the skyline of Hoboken.

But tonight is about celebrating the city that has given us so much, not about mourning the end of an era.

We grab a couple beers, find a secluded spot, and stare up at the Manhattan sky as stars begin to pop up, competing for attention with the sparkling lights of…

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Love America? Thank an Immigrant.

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Read this blog post below and it was so, so very true! While it is only wishful thinking, I hope our nation can get better at accepting others who are different. None of us are the same; we weren’t meant to be. The diversity of our country is what adds to its significance, authority, and power. Check out this post and I think you shall agree.

Love America? Thank an Immigrant..

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