I’m not really sure where I first saw this saying, whether it was in one of those chain text messages people send out or on facebook, but I found it quite interesting. We hear people say all the time that “love hurts”. But after reading this quote, I find that to be untrue. I do believe that when relationships end; especially when they end badly, people like to say that love hurts. But I don’t think that a woman sits at home crying her eyes out because her husband or boyfriend loves her so much. She’s crying because she feels hurt, or betrayed, UNloved, or just flat-out broken-hearted.

My brother writes as well and his take on love is this: “Love as a feeling is insignificant when it comes to being with or actually loving someone. The act of love is a task and understanding it as such will determine success or failure in it.” So many people think that love is words and feelings. But I feel like love is much more than that. Love is an action. Not everyone will feel the same way, but I do believe that love is not what it says, but what it does. Too many people use the phrase in vain, saying it when they don’t mean it, don’t feel it, or are just saying it because it sounds good at the time.

In Andy Andrews’ book, The Noticer, the character Jones talks about how different people love differently and feel love differently. One example in particular I remembered was of the husband and wife who both talked to Jones about how they didn’t feel loved by the other party. The wife showed her love by “doing” things for her husband, and since he didn’t “do” things for her, she felt he didn’t love her. The husband “told” the wife all the time that he loved her, but she would hardly “tell” him that she loved him in return. They had to learn from Jones that the things the wife did to show she loved her husband is what she expected in return for him to show he loved her… Examples were cutting the shrubs back around the porch or fixing the cabinet door in the kitchen. Because he did not do these things, she felt he did not love her. Lack of communication. That is what it all boiled down to as far as I was concerned. They didn’t have an effective form of communication which in turn left them both feeling unloved.

How do you love? Do you show love to the one you use that infamous three-letter phrase with, or do you just verbally tell them? Me, I appreciate gifts, affection, quality time, phone calls (or text messages) just to say “I love you” or “I’m thinking of you”… Those are some of the things that I feel a person does in order to show their love for me… But love doesn’t hurt. That to me is untrue. Like the quote states, rejection hurts, envy, loneliness… But love is actually one of the few things in the world that makes a person feel whole and wonderful again; especially after being hurt by someone who they loved and felt they loved them back.

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